I am fortunate to have been acquainted with the reality that life is a journey not a destination. It took me a while to fully understand this, for I used to live my life wishing for the next chapter, thus failing to live and appreciate the present. For the longest time in my early adulthood I spend most of it fantasizing, of how happy I would be if only I achieved something. I woke up from my fantasy world and tried to live in the moment, as challenging as it is! This is still work in progress.

We are very hard on ourselves as human beings, forgetting that our Creator loved us long before we were born. Knowing fully well of imperfections, yet we battle to be kind to ourselves. This despite the fact that we live in a cruel world, a world where being yourself and comfortable in one’s skin is a daily battle.

This brings me to my grieving journey. It is a journey yes, for I don’t ever think I will reach a destiny with grief. This past week marked the seventh month of my Sister’s passing. Going to a year now but the pain still cuts deep. I still have the outer body experience, I see everything that happened on the 14th June and subsequently the 22nd June 2019 when we laid her to rest flash through my eyes. I feel helpless again, as if there’s something I could do nor turn back the hand of time. “Time heals,” they say and I disagree. I have learnt that it is a reminder that the person is no longer there. That everyday that pass, passes without her and it hurts. Perhaps what hurts more is that life goes on without our loved ones… it doesn’t pause. Moving on seems like betraying their memories. Then again because they loved us, you remind yourself that they wouldn’t want you to be sad. It’s constant battle, for no matter how much we cry ourselves to sleep…God willing we rise again in the morning, without her 💜.