Who am I? No really, who am I?

At the age of almost 47, I’ve found myself grappling with a fundamental question, one spurred by the profound loss of my parents. Who I am I? Their departure from this world hit me in ways I never anticipated. In the span of just two years, I bid farewell to the individuals who brought me into this world – my first loves. Suddenly, the constants in my life were gone, leaving me to navigate a world without their guidance.

Now, standing at the threshold of a new chapter, I am faced with the reality of being an orphan while also shouldering the responsibilities of parenthood. It’s an arduous journey, marked by the yearning for a simple call or chat with my parents, the desire to seek their advice, or even share a gossip session. The realization that these moments are forever out of reach is a painful truth I grapple with daily.

Amidst this emotional turmoil, I find solace in the fact that life continues to unfold. My career is blossoming, but the joy is tinged with the absence of my parents to witness these milestones. Joining Toastmasters, 4th Dimension, a decision aligned with my aspirations to elevate the “Mpho Hlalele” brand, has been a transformative experience. Stepping out of my comfort zone, I delivered my ice breaker on the anniversary of my mother’s passing, dedicating it to her memory. Titled “From Firstborn to Wise Leader: My Journey of Empathy and Resilience,” it was a candid exploration of the impact of being a firstborn.

Reflecting on this, I contemplate whether my journey should extend beyond Toastmasters and into the realm of authorship. Being a firstborn has profoundly shaped my identity, and sharing my experiences may resonate with others.

As I embrace this new chapter, I recognize it as neither a return to the drawing board nor a mere continuation of the past. My parents, in their wisdom, bestowed upon me the gift of resilience, forming a cornerstone of my foundation. I am determined to leverage this resilience and other lessons learned to forge ahead.

The present beckons, and I am determined to live in it fully. Amidst the challenges and uncertainties, I plan to return to running, amplify my voice through more blogging, and, above all, savor the richness of the present moment.

This is who I am now—resilient, evolving, and ready to embrace the journey ahead.