I have been thinking a lot about time lately.
They say time flies when you’re having fun.
I’m not sure I would describe the last few weeks as simply “fun”. They have been busy, stretching, surprising, emotional and, in many ways, incredibly affirming.
But what I have appreciated most are the moments when I finally sit down, breathe and reflect on what has actually happened.
Because when I do, I realise something:
The tides are turning.
And perhaps I’m finally starting to notice.
Tuesday, 18 August 2026
I had my first stint as a panelist at the Public Sector Leaders Summit 2026 #PSL2026.
And let me be honest.
I was nervous.
Very nervous.
I had second thoughts.
That little voice in my head started asking all the familiar questions:
Am I ready?
Do I really belong on that stage?
What if I don’t have the answers?
What if I don’t say the right thing?
For a moment, I could have allowed the nerves to win.
But I didn’t.
I walked onto that stage.
And then I did what I’ve spent years learning to do.
I showed up.
And you know what?
I owned it.
Not perfectly.
Not without nerves.
But I did it.
And when I walked off that stage, I had one of those moments where you almost have to laugh at yourself.
Because why was I so afraid?
I’ve spent years building experience, learning, leading, communicating, making mistakes, figuring things out and finding my voice.
Perhaps the woman who was nervous wasn’t lacking in capability.
Perhaps she was simply standing at the edge of another version of herself.
And she had to decide whether she was willing to step forward.
She was.
Then Limpopo happened.
Just days later, I travelled to Limpopo for the 20th PSI Conference, where Boxfusion sponsored the networking session.
Another event.
Another room.
Another opportunity to simply do my job.
Except this time, I was afforded the opportunity to say a few words on behalf of Boxfusion.
And again, I found myself standing there thinking…
Is this really me?
It almost felt like an out-of-body experience.
Not because I didn’t know what I was doing.
But because I could suddenly see myself from the outside.
A woman who once questioned whether she was good enough.
A woman who has spent years working behind the scenes.
A woman who has built a career in marketing and communications.
A woman who has learned to navigate rooms, people, strategy, pressure and uncertainty.
And now…
She’s standing in those rooms.
She’s speaking.
She’s representing her organisation.
She’s contributing to conversations.
She’s being trusted with the microphone.
She’s becoming visible.
And maybe that’s what has been so powerful about this season of my life.
I’m not necessarily becoming someone new.
I’m finally seeing the person I’ve already become.
Showing up
There is something I’ve been learning about courage.
It isn’t the absence of fear.
Sometimes courage is simply saying:
“I’m nervous, but I’m going anyway.”
That has been my lesson these past few weeks.
The nerves can come.
The self-doubt can come.
The imposter syndrome can have its little conversation.
But I don’t have to give any of them the final say.
I can still walk onto the stage.
I can still take the microphone.
I can still contribute.
I can still learn.
I can still grow.
And I can still be surprised by myself.
That, perhaps, is one of the unexpected gifts of approaching 50.
You begin to realise that you have spent decades becoming.
And every now and then, life gives you a glimpse of the woman all those years were preparing.
So here I am.
Still on this journey.
Still figuring things out.
Still learning.
Still occasionally terrified.
Still navigating life, career, relationships, wellness and all the beautiful chaos that comes with being human.
But I’m showing up.
And I’m beginning to trust myself a little more.
#Project50 was supposed to start on 1 July.
It didn’t.
Life had other plans.
But perhaps this is exactly how it was supposed to unfold.
Because if the first chapter was about coming back, and the second was about recognising my expertise, perhaps this chapter is about finding the courage to be seen.
The journey to 50 isn’t about becoming perfect.
It’s about becoming more fully myself.
One first at a time.
One stage at a time.
One uncomfortable moment at a time.
And apparently…
one microphone at a time. 🎤
#Project50 | Chapter 03
The Stage I Almost Didn’t Step Onto
Sometimes the biggest evidence of growth is simply having the courage to show up when every part of you is wondering whether you belong.
