writing

#Project50: Still I Rise

There are moments in life when you know you are not quite ready.

And then there are moments when you realise that perhaps being ready was never the point.

This week gave me one of those moments.

On Wednesday, I played my first-ever round of golf at the SAPS Golf Day in Modimolle.

Just four lessons in.

I remember wondering beforehand whether I was ready. Whether four lessons were enough. Whether I would actually know what I was doing once I stepped onto the course.

Then I remembered one of my favourite quotes from Richard Branson:

“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity, but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!”

So, I said yes.

And I showed up.

Let me tell you… the beginning was a little messy.

There were moments when I questioned the decision. But somewhere along the way, I stopped worrying about whether I was doing it perfectly and simply started playing.

I warmed up.

I got better.

I hit the ball.

And then I chased it.

Again.

And again.

And somehow, that felt like more than golf.

It felt like a reflection of where I am in this season of my life.

Sometimes we wait to feel completely prepared before we step into something new. We convince ourselves that we need one more course, one more conversation, one more year of experience, one more sign that we are ready.

But perhaps growth doesn’t always work that way.

Perhaps sometimes you learn by stepping onto the course.

You learn by taking the shot.

You learn by missing.

You learn by trying again.

You learn by chasing the ball down the fairway and refusing to let one bad shot define the entire game.

And at the end of the day, something rather beautiful happened.

I won a prize. 🏆

Was it because I was the best golfer on the course?

Absolutely not.

But I think the universe was having a little conversation with me.

A reminder.

Keep showing up.

Keep taking the shot.

Keep learning.

Keep moving.

And keep winning.

Because sometimes the win is the prize.

Sometimes the win is the opportunity.

Sometimes the win is simply having the courage to say yes.

And sometimes, what looks like a loss in the moment becomes the lesson you needed all along.

So, I am carrying this one with me:

If it’s not a win, it’s a lesson.

And either way, I am still moving forward.

Still learning.

Still becoming.

Still showing up.

And, after everything life has thrown my way, perhaps the most important thing I can say is this:

Still, I rise.

#Project50 #StillIRise #TheGrowthNarrative #KeepShowingUp #Growth #Becoming

#Project50: The Chapter of Receiving

And just like that, Women’s Month comes to an end.

August has been another reminder that life doesn’t always unfold according to plan. There have been twists, turns, unexpected moments, lessons, laughter, uncertainty and those little moments that make you stop and say, “Okay… I see you, God. I see what you’re doing.”

But today was different.

Today was quiet.

Today was simple.

And yet, today reminded me of something I am learning as I journey towards 50:

I am learning how to receive.

Earlier today, I decided to work from a café. Nothing particularly special about the decision. I was simply minding my business, getting some work done and enjoying my own company.

Then Amanda walked in with her Dad.

What a beautiful surprise.

We had a few minutes to catch up, and although our time together was brief, there was something so special about that unexpected reunion. Sometimes you don’t need hours with someone for an encounter to mean something. Sometimes a few minutes are enough to remind you of connection, friendship and the people who form part of your story.

Amanda eventually left.

I carried on with my day.

I finished what I was doing, packed up my things and asked for the bill.

And then came the surprise:

“It’s been taken care of.”

Wait… what?

Amanda had quietly paid my bill before she left.

I hadn’t asked.

I hadn’t expected it.

I wasn’t even aware she was doing it.

She simply decided to do something kind for me.

And for some reason, that little gesture touched me deeply.

Perhaps because I am so accustomed to being the one who gives.

The one who remembers.

The one who checks in.

The one who makes things happen.

The one who says, “I’ve got you.”

But today, someone else said it to me without actually saying the words.

“I’ve got you.”

And I received it.

Later, I went to have Sugar washed.

My Sugar.

The car I named after my Dad.

Another ordinary part of an ordinary day.

Except this time, another stranger decided to wash Sugar for me for free.

Again…

I hadn’t asked.

I wasn’t expecting it.

It simply happened.

And suddenly I found myself reflecting on how beautifully the day had unfolded.

Two people.

Two completely different circumstances.

Two unexpected acts of kindness.

And one very big reminder.

Sometimes we are so busy being a blessing to others that we forget that we are allowed to be blessed too.

Maybe that is what this chapter of #Project50 is really about.

Receiving.

Receiving kindness without immediately wondering what I need to give back.

Receiving generosity without feeling guilty.

Receiving love without questioning whether I deserve it.

Receiving friendship.

Receiving grace.

Receiving help.

Receiving the unexpected.

Receiving the beautiful things that arrive without an invoice attached to them.

As I journey towards 50, I am realising that growth isn’t always about becoming stronger, doing more, achieving more or carrying more.

Sometimes growth is learning to put the load down.

Sometimes growth is allowing someone else to carry something for you.

Sometimes growth is simply saying:

“Thank you.”

And meaning it.

Today, as I close out Women’s Month, I am choosing to remember these two moments.

Not because someone paid for my coffee or because someone washed my car.

But because both moments reminded me that kindness can find you when you’re not looking for it.

And perhaps that is the beautiful surprise of this season of my life.

I don’t have to orchestrate every blessing.

I don’t have to work for every beautiful thing.

I don’t have to be in control of every outcome.

Sometimes I can simply live.

Show up.

Do my thing.

Mind my business.

And allow life to surprise me.

So, August…

Thank you.

Thank you for the lessons.

Thank you for the unexpected.

Thank you for the people.

Thank you for the reminders.

And most importantly, thank you for teaching me that receiving is also a form of grace.

As I step into September and continue this beautiful journey towards 50, I am carrying a new intention with me:

I will continue to give generously, but I will also learn to receive graciously.

Because perhaps the woman I am becoming doesn’t just know how to pour into others.

She also knows when to let someone pour into her.

And that, my friends, is Chapter 04 of #Project50.

The Chapter of Receiving.

Here’s to 50; and to everything I’m still learning along the way. ❤️

#Project50 #Chapter04 #TheChapterOfReceiving #WomenMonth #Becoming #Gratitude #Grace #Kindness #TheJourneyTo50

#Project50: The Stage I Almost Didn’t Step Onto

I have been thinking a lot about time lately.

They say time flies when you’re having fun.

I’m not sure I would describe the last few weeks as simply “fun”. They have been busy, stretching, surprising, emotional and, in many ways, incredibly affirming.

But what I have appreciated most are the moments when I finally sit down, breathe and reflect on what has actually happened.

Because when I do, I realise something:

The tides are turning.

And perhaps I’m finally starting to notice.

Tuesday, 18 August 2026

I had my first stint as a panelist at the Public Sector Leaders Summit 2026 #PSL2026.

And let me be honest.

I was nervous.

Very nervous.

I had second thoughts.

That little voice in my head started asking all the familiar questions:

Am I ready?

Do I really belong on that stage?

What if I don’t have the answers?

What if I don’t say the right thing?

For a moment, I could have allowed the nerves to win.

But I didn’t.

I walked onto that stage.

And then I did what I’ve spent years learning to do.

I showed up.

And you know what?

I owned it.

Not perfectly.

Not without nerves.

But I did it.

And when I walked off that stage, I had one of those moments where you almost have to laugh at yourself.

Because why was I so afraid?

I’ve spent years building experience, learning, leading, communicating, making mistakes, figuring things out and finding my voice.

Perhaps the woman who was nervous wasn’t lacking in capability.

Perhaps she was simply standing at the edge of another version of herself.

And she had to decide whether she was willing to step forward.

She was.

Then Limpopo happened.

Just days later, I travelled to Limpopo for the 20th PSI Conference, where Boxfusion sponsored the networking session.

Another event.

Another room.

Another opportunity to simply do my job.

Except this time, I was afforded the opportunity to say a few words on behalf of Boxfusion.

And again, I found myself standing there thinking…

Is this really me?

It almost felt like an out-of-body experience.

Not because I didn’t know what I was doing.

But because I could suddenly see myself from the outside.

A woman who once questioned whether she was good enough.

A woman who has spent years working behind the scenes.

A woman who has built a career in marketing and communications.

A woman who has learned to navigate rooms, people, strategy, pressure and uncertainty.

And now…

She’s standing in those rooms.

She’s speaking.

She’s representing her organisation.

She’s contributing to conversations.

She’s being trusted with the microphone.

She’s becoming visible.

And maybe that’s what has been so powerful about this season of my life.

I’m not necessarily becoming someone new.

I’m finally seeing the person I’ve already become.

Showing up

There is something I’ve been learning about courage.

It isn’t the absence of fear.

Sometimes courage is simply saying:

“I’m nervous, but I’m going anyway.”

That has been my lesson these past few weeks.

The nerves can come.

The self-doubt can come.

The imposter syndrome can have its little conversation.

But I don’t have to give any of them the final say.

I can still walk onto the stage.

I can still take the microphone.

I can still contribute.

I can still learn.

I can still grow.

And I can still be surprised by myself.

That, perhaps, is one of the unexpected gifts of approaching 50.

You begin to realise that you have spent decades becoming.

And every now and then, life gives you a glimpse of the woman all those years were preparing.

So here I am.

Still on this journey.

Still figuring things out.

Still learning.

Still occasionally terrified.

Still navigating life, career, relationships, wellness and all the beautiful chaos that comes with being human.

But I’m showing up.

And I’m beginning to trust myself a little more.

#Project50 was supposed to start on 1 July.

It didn’t.

Life had other plans.

But perhaps this is exactly how it was supposed to unfold.

Because if the first chapter was about coming back, and the second was about recognising my expertise, perhaps this chapter is about finding the courage to be seen.

The journey to 50 isn’t about becoming perfect.

It’s about becoming more fully myself.

One first at a time.

One stage at a time.

One uncomfortable moment at a time.

And apparently…

one microphone at a time. 🎤

#Project50 | Chapter 03

The Stage I Almost Didn’t Step Onto

Sometimes the biggest evidence of growth is simply having the courage to show up when every part of you is wondering whether you belong.

#Project50: Apparently, Life Had Other Plans

I was meant to launch #Project50 on 1 July 2026.

The plan was simple: start the journey towards June 2027, when I turn 50, and intentionally document the year leading up to this milestone.

I had the ideas.
I had the tracker.
I had the vision.

And then… life happened.

I found myself slipping into that place I call survival mode.

The mode I despise.

The mode where you’re not really living in the moment. You’re just getting through the day, ticking things off, solving the next problem, getting to tomorrow and hoping that tomorrow will feel a little lighter.

Survival mode takes so much from you.

It takes your curiosity.

Your creativity.

Your excitement.

Sometimes even your ability to remember why you started something in the first place.

And somewhere between the plans, the responsibilities and the general busyness of life, I almost forgot about #Project50.

Almost.

Because here I am.

A day after Women’s Day, and I can feel something shifting.

I’m getting my mojo back.

And perhaps that is exactly what Project 50 needed.

Not a perfect beginning.

A real one.

So… what has happened while I was “away”?

Well, for starters…

I had my first golf lesson last week. 🏌🏽‍♀️

Yes.

Golf.

Me.

And you know what?

I loved it.

There was something about being completely new at something that reminded me how important it is to remain curious.

At 49, approaching 50, I don’t want to only become better at the things I already know.

I want to learn new things.

Try things.

Be terrible at things.

Laugh at myself.

Improve.

Try again.

And maybe, just maybe, discover parts of myself I haven’t met yet.

That, for me, is what #Project50 is really going to be about.

Not simply counting down to a birthday.

But deliberately creating a year of becoming.

There will be travel.

There will be celebrations.

There will be career milestones.

There will be wellness goals.

There will be lessons.

There will be adventures.

There will probably be a few spectacularly bad golf shots.

And there will definitely be conversations about peri-menopause because, ladies, if I’m going through this chapter, I refuse to pretend it isn’t happening.

In fact, I’m making myself a little promise:

I’m going to keep one up on peri-menopause at all times.

Because if we’re going to talk about turning 50, we need to talk about the real stuff too.

The body changes.

The identity shifts.

The confidence.

The uncertainty.

The humour.

The learning to listen to yourself again.

All of it.

So no, #Project50 did not start on 1 July.

It starts now.

Not because the calendar says so.

But because I’m ready to show up again.

And perhaps that’s the first lesson this journey has already taught me:

You don’t have to start perfectly. You just have to start again.

Welcome to #Project50.

The journey to 50 has officially resumed.

And this time, I’m bringing my mojo with me. ✨🏌🏽‍♀️

Next stop: 50.

Let’s see what happens between now and June 2027.