healing

#Project50: The Courage to Begin Again

Some endings break our hearts. Others make room for the lives we have been quietly dreaming of.

Life has a way of rearranging things when we least expect it.

Sometimes, the changes arrive gently, giving us enough time to prepare ourselves for what lies ahead. And sometimes, life turns everything upside down, leaving us to find our footing while trying to make sense of everything that has changed.

The past few weeks have been a little bit of the latter for me.

I have been quiet. Not because I have run out of things to say, but because life has demanded that I sit with myself, process a few things and find the courage to make some difficult decisions.

And today, as I return to my little corner of reflection, I do so with a heart that is still processing, a mind that is learning to embrace uncertainty and a spirit that is determined to keep moving forward.

I am still standing. And for now, that is enough.

The courage to close a chapter

One of the most difficult decisions I have had to make recently was to bring a six-year relationship to an end.

Six years.

When you have shared that much of your life with another person, walking away is never simply about ending a relationship. It is also about letting go of the future you may have imagined, the memories you have accumulated and the version of yourself that existed within that chapter.

It is about accepting that something can have mattered deeply and still come to an end.

My trip to France in June was a beautiful milestone in its own right, but looking back, I realise that the experience also gave me space to reflect. Stepping away from the familiar, even for a little while, can sometimes help us see the things we have been struggling to articulate.

Perhaps distance gives perspective. Perhaps stillness allows us to hear the thoughts we have been too busy to acknowledge.

Whatever the case, I returned with questions that needed honest answers.

And eventually, I found the courage to make a decision that was not easy, but one I felt I needed to make.

I am learning that choosing yourself does not always feel empowering in the moment. Sometimes, it feels painful. Sometimes, it comes with uncertainty, sadness and the uncomfortable task of adjusting to a life that suddenly looks different.

But I am also learning that we can honour what a chapter meant to us without forcing ourselves to remain in it.

Not every ending needs to be accompanied by anger. Not every decision needs to be understood by everyone. And not every new beginning arrives with a detailed plan.

Sometimes, all we have is the quiet conviction that we need to move forward.

And so, I am.

And then, there is Cadeau.

Now, here is where the story takes an interesting turn.

In the middle of all this personal change, something beautiful happened on the professional front.

I had meetings with two prospective clients.

Two conversations with people who are interested in working with me. People who are waiting for proposals from me. People who see value in what I can bring to the table.

And I found myself sitting with the reality of it all, thinking:

Me? Abigail?

I am still in awe.

There is something deeply humbling about realising that the knowledge you have accumulated, the experience you have gained, the lessons you have learned and the work you have poured yourself into over the years can become the foundation of something of your own.

For so long, Cadeau Consulting Services has been a dream I have nurtured, a vision I have carried and an idea I have wanted to give more of myself to.

I registered the company. I thought about the services I could offer. I imagined the possibilities. I worked on the brand and thought about the people and businesses I could help.

But somewhere between the demands of everyday life, professional responsibilities and everything else that requires our attention, I had not given Cadeau the room it needed to grow.

And now, here I am.

With two prospective clients, proposals to prepare and a renewed sense of possibility.

It is exciting. It is humbling. And, if I am being completely honest, it is a little scary, too.

Because it is one thing to dream about building a business. It is another to recognise that the opportunity to do so may actually be unfolding right in front of you.

I know that conversations do not automatically translate into signed contracts, and I still have work to do. There are proposals to develop, relationships to nurture, systems to strengthen and a business to build.

But I am choosing to celebrate this moment for what it is: a reminder that the possibilities I have been hoping for are worth pursuing.

Cadeau is no longer just an idea I carry. It is a gift I am being called to nurture.

A gift to myself, and perhaps to the world

The name Cadeau means gift in French.

I chose it with intention, and today, that meaning feels even more personal.

Cadeau is a gift to myself. A gift of possibility. A space to channel my experience, creativity, knowledge and passion into something I can call my own.

It is an opportunity to build something that reflects who I am, what I believe in and the value I know I can bring to others.

But more than that, I want Cadeau to become a gift that extends beyond me.

A business that helps other people and organisations bring their visions to life. A partner that contributes meaningfully to the growth of the people it serves. A platform through which my years of experience can be transformed into practical value, meaningful relationships and lasting impact.

I want to build it intentionally.

Not simply to say I own a business, but to create something sustainable, credible and worthy of the vision that inspired it.

And perhaps the most important realisation is that I do not need to become someone else to do this.

I need to trust the woman I have spent years becoming.

The woman who has learned, stumbled, adapted, led, created, started again and continued to show up.

The woman who has spent years contributing to other people’s visions and is now learning to give her own vision the same level of attention.

There is nothing wrong with that journey. In fact, I am beginning to see just how much it has prepared me for this moment.

Becoming 50: The woman I am choosing to become

When I started this #Project50 journey, I knew I wanted the road to 50 to mean more than counting down the years until another birthday.

I wanted it to be about growth.

About becoming more intentional with my time, my energy, my relationships and the things I want to build.

I wanted to reflect on the woman I have been, appreciate the woman I am and make deliberate choices about the woman I am becoming.

I am discovering that this process is not always glamorous.

Sometimes, growth looks like making a difficult decision.

Sometimes, it looks like sitting with the uncertainty of what comes next.

Sometimes, it means allowing yourself to grieve what has ended while remaining open to what is beginning.

And sometimes, growth looks like finally taking your own dreams seriously.

I cannot pretend to have all the answers today. I am still processing the changes in my personal life. I am still figuring out what this next season will look like. I am still learning how to create space for myself without feeling the need to justify it.

But I know one thing: I do not want to arrive at 50 having spent another year postponing the things that matter to me.

I want to build.

I want to learn.

I want to create.

I want to experience life more intentionally.

And I want to give Cadeau the chance it deserves.

Not out of desperation. Not because I need to prove anything to anyone. But because I believe there is something meaningful here, and I owe it to myself to explore that possibility wholeheartedly.

A promise to myself

So, here is the promise I am making to myself as I enter this next chapter:

I will give myself permission to heal without rushing the process.

I will make room for the emotions that come with endings without allowing them to define my entire story.

I will stop treating my own dreams as the things I will pursue when everything else is taken care of.

I will give Cadeau my time, attention and commitment.

I will do the work, prepare the proposals, nurture the relationships and learn what I need to learn along the way.

I will celebrate the small wins, remain grounded when things are uncertain and remember that building something meaningful takes patience.

And above all, I will allow myself to be a beginner again where necessary, without forgetting that I am also bringing years of experience to the table.

Because I am not starting from nothing.

I am starting from everything I have learned.

As I write this chapter, I am reminded that life does not always wait for us to feel ready before presenting us with the next opportunity.

Sometimes, we have to take the first step while our hearts are still catching up.

And perhaps that is what this season is asking of me: to trust myself enough to take that step.

I am closing one chapter of my personal life. I am opening another chapter of possibility in my professional life. And somewhere in between, I am learning to make room for the woman who deserves to experience both peace and purpose.

I do not know exactly what the next few months will bring.

But I know what I want to give them.

My courage. My attention. My creativity. My commitment.

And a little more belief in myself.

Here is to the endings that teach us, the beginnings that surprise us and the dreams that patiently wait for us to give them a chance.

Here is to Cadeau.

Here is to choosing myself.

And here is to becoming 50, not with everything figured out, but with a renewed determination to build a life that feels true to me.

I am still standing. I am still becoming. And this time, I am making room for my own dreams.

Until the next chapter of The Growth Narrative.

#Project50 | #TheGrowthNarrative | #CadeauConsultingServices | #Becoming50

#Project50: Stay the Course

There are weeks that stretch you.

Not because you have failed.
Not because you have lost your way.
But because life sometimes has a way of testing just how committed you are to the person you say you are becoming.

This was one of those weeks.

Emotionally draining would probably be the simplest way to describe it.

I celebrated another career milestone, and while milestones are supposed to be moments of celebration, reflection and gratitude, this one also came with a sobering realisation:

Not everyone will celebrate your growth.

And, if I am honest, that hurts.

It hurts to realise that while you are busy doing the work, showing up, contributing, growing and trying to become better, there may be people who don’t necessarily wish you well.

Perhaps that is one of the more difficult realities of growth.

The further you move along your journey, the more visible you become.

And visibility doesn’t always attract applause.

Sometimes it attracts comparison.
Sometimes it attracts resistance.
Sometimes it simply reminds people of where they are in their own journey.

But this week taught me something important:

I cannot allow someone else’s perception of my growth to become a detour in my journey.

I have spent enough years learning who I am, what I bring to the table and what I am capable of.

At this stage of my life and career, I simply cannot afford to give too much of my emotional energy to things I cannot control.

I don’t want to spend my days trying to understand everyone’s intentions.

I don’t want to constantly question whether everyone around me is genuinely rooting for me.

I don’t want to make myself smaller to make someone else comfortable.

And I certainly don’t want to allow circumstances around me to determine the direction of my life.

So, I am choosing something different.

I am choosing to stay the course.

To remain focused on the bigger picture.

To continue positioning myself for the opportunities that align with where I am going.

To keep learning.

To keep showing up.

To keep building.

Because there are still things I am working towards.

Rooms I haven’t entered yet.

Conversations I haven’t had yet.

Opportunities I haven’t discovered yet.

And dreams that are still taking shape.

I don’t need to announce them before they happen.

I simply need to keep preparing for them.

And perhaps that is another lesson in this season: not everything needs to be shared while it is still becoming.

Some things need to be nurtured quietly.

Some plans need room to breathe.

Some doors need to open before we announce that we are walking through them.

For now, I am content knowing that there is more ahead.

Because there is a lot happening around me.

There are things at home that aren’t looking the way I would like them to.

There are uncertainties I don’t have answers to yet.

There are situations that have challenged me emotionally.

But none of those things have the authority to cancel what is happening within me.

My growth continues.

My ambition continues.

My purpose continues.

My vision continues.

My journey to 50 continues.

And perhaps that is what this chapter is really about.

Staying the course.

Because challenges are inevitable.

People will disappoint you.

Plans will change.

Things won’t always make sense.

Some people will misunderstand you.

Some will underestimate you.

And sometimes, you may even find yourself questioning your own next step.

But none of that means you have to change your destination.

You may have to change your route.

You may have to pause.

You may have to rest.

You may have to rethink your strategy.

You may even have to leave certain things behind.

But you don’t have to abandon the vision.

This season is teaching me that resilience isn’t always about fighting.

Sometimes resilience is simply saying:

“I see what is happening. I acknowledge that it hurts. And I am still moving forward.”

That is where I am.

I am not pretending everything is perfect.

It isn’t.

But I refuse to let imperfect circumstances create an imperfect vision of my future.

I refuse to allow other people’s opinions to become my identity.

I refuse to allow difficult seasons to convince me that I am not capable of more.

I refuse to allow uncertainty to erase everything I am building.

And I refuse to let fear make decisions that courage should be making.

I am learning to keep some things close to my heart while I work on them.

To let the results speak when the time is right.

To trust that what is meant for me will find me.

And to remember that sometimes the most powerful move is not announcing your next move at all.

And perhaps that is the greatest lesson of Chapter 05:

Stay the course.

You don’t have to have everything figured out.

You don’t have to know exactly how the story ends.

You don’t have to silence every naysayer.

You don’t have to prove yourself to everyone.

You just need to remember where you’re going.

Because sometimes the greatest act of self-belief is simply refusing to turn around.

So, here’s to the next chapter.

To courage.

To quiet preparation.

To new rooms.

To new possibilities.

To trusting the process.

To protecting the vision while it is still becoming.

To becoming the woman who no longer allows distractions to determine her direction.

And most importantly…

To staying on course.

#Project50
#Chapter5
#StayTheCourse
#TheJourneyTo50
#GrowthJourney
#PersonalGrowth
#Resilience
#WomenInLeadership

#Project50: The Stage I Almost Didn’t Step Onto

I have been thinking a lot about time lately.

They say time flies when you’re having fun.

I’m not sure I would describe the last few weeks as simply “fun”. They have been busy, stretching, surprising, emotional and, in many ways, incredibly affirming.

But what I have appreciated most are the moments when I finally sit down, breathe and reflect on what has actually happened.

Because when I do, I realise something:

The tides are turning.

And perhaps I’m finally starting to notice.

Tuesday, 18 August 2026

I had my first stint as a panelist at the Public Sector Leaders Summit 2026 #PSL2026.

And let me be honest.

I was nervous.

Very nervous.

I had second thoughts.

That little voice in my head started asking all the familiar questions:

Am I ready?

Do I really belong on that stage?

What if I don’t have the answers?

What if I don’t say the right thing?

For a moment, I could have allowed the nerves to win.

But I didn’t.

I walked onto that stage.

And then I did what I’ve spent years learning to do.

I showed up.

And you know what?

I owned it.

Not perfectly.

Not without nerves.

But I did it.

And when I walked off that stage, I had one of those moments where you almost have to laugh at yourself.

Because why was I so afraid?

I’ve spent years building experience, learning, leading, communicating, making mistakes, figuring things out and finding my voice.

Perhaps the woman who was nervous wasn’t lacking in capability.

Perhaps she was simply standing at the edge of another version of herself.

And she had to decide whether she was willing to step forward.

She was.

Then Limpopo happened.

Just days later, I travelled to Limpopo for the 20th PSI Conference, where Boxfusion sponsored the networking session.

Another event.

Another room.

Another opportunity to simply do my job.

Except this time, I was afforded the opportunity to say a few words on behalf of Boxfusion.

And again, I found myself standing there thinking…

Is this really me?

It almost felt like an out-of-body experience.

Not because I didn’t know what I was doing.

But because I could suddenly see myself from the outside.

A woman who once questioned whether she was good enough.

A woman who has spent years working behind the scenes.

A woman who has built a career in marketing and communications.

A woman who has learned to navigate rooms, people, strategy, pressure and uncertainty.

And now…

She’s standing in those rooms.

She’s speaking.

She’s representing her organisation.

She’s contributing to conversations.

She’s being trusted with the microphone.

She’s becoming visible.

And maybe that’s what has been so powerful about this season of my life.

I’m not necessarily becoming someone new.

I’m finally seeing the person I’ve already become.

Showing up

There is something I’ve been learning about courage.

It isn’t the absence of fear.

Sometimes courage is simply saying:

“I’m nervous, but I’m going anyway.”

That has been my lesson these past few weeks.

The nerves can come.

The self-doubt can come.

The imposter syndrome can have its little conversation.

But I don’t have to give any of them the final say.

I can still walk onto the stage.

I can still take the microphone.

I can still contribute.

I can still learn.

I can still grow.

And I can still be surprised by myself.

That, perhaps, is one of the unexpected gifts of approaching 50.

You begin to realise that you have spent decades becoming.

And every now and then, life gives you a glimpse of the woman all those years were preparing.

So here I am.

Still on this journey.

Still figuring things out.

Still learning.

Still occasionally terrified.

Still navigating life, career, relationships, wellness and all the beautiful chaos that comes with being human.

But I’m showing up.

And I’m beginning to trust myself a little more.

#Project50 was supposed to start on 1 July.

It didn’t.

Life had other plans.

But perhaps this is exactly how it was supposed to unfold.

Because if the first chapter was about coming back, and the second was about recognising my expertise, perhaps this chapter is about finding the courage to be seen.

The journey to 50 isn’t about becoming perfect.

It’s about becoming more fully myself.

One first at a time.

One stage at a time.

One uncomfortable moment at a time.

And apparently…

one microphone at a time. 🎤

#Project50 | Chapter 03

The Stage I Almost Didn’t Step Onto

Sometimes the biggest evidence of growth is simply having the courage to show up when every part of you is wondering whether you belong.